Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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