i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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