stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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