Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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