Do you still have your period?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
