Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
