I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize