my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
