guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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