she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
