My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
