"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just pee around me
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
