I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
