well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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