At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
