Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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