Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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