FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
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Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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