I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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