one word: firstdatebathroomanal
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
a search helicopter?!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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