You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
