This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
