my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
