I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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