Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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