what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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