He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
