my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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