out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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