well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
