This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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