Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
