We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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