hotel room ftw
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
