Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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