Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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