I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
