don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you didnt know i had herpes?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
