break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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