You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
