Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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