so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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