would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
