He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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