I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
