i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
