I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just pee around me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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