He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
