Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Did I show you my penis last night?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
