no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
