Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
