This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
