I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
