People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He better not be in your backpack
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
